I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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