why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
