went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
