Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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