She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
