I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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