I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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