You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize