I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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