fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
