He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm too high and old for this...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
