Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
