can we get nightvision for the apartment?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
