My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We're like a lot better than the average bears
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize