He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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