You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
