i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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