dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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