Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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