She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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