return my video game
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
