Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
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we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
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Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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