This girl is more easily done than said...
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
