i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
