His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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