Your face is a jimmy john
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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