I'm drive I can fine osifer
I bet he comes in French.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
