First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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