I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
