this just has baby written all over it
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
