just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
