I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
