Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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