shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize