Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
