Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
