i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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