She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
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