I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
