So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
