They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
