WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
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Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
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Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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