when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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