you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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