I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
