they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
