I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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