If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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