if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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