I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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