His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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