I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
