after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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