He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
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