my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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