So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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