they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
