idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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