Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize