Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When did angry sex become our thing?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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