sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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