i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize