If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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