I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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