Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
