I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
there is glitter all over my balls
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