All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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