Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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