I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
